The Funny Things Kids Say at Christmas

The Learning Escape team know all too well what a busy time of year this is for teachers, so thought we’d offer some light relief, gathering together some of the funniest stories about children and their thoughts about Christmas.

At a nativity play our young granddaughter Charlotte watched the three kings deliver gold, frankincense and myrrh and asked: "Is the Franky Scents like aftershave?"

A friend’s two little girls were looking at a picture of the Virgin Mary holding Baby Jesus. "That's Mary," said the older girl, "and that's her baby Jesus in her arms." "Where's Jesus's dad then?" asked her little sister. "Oh he is the one taking the picture," replied her sister.

I asked my young grandson what he would like Santa to bring him. He produced a rather long list. When I commented on the length of it, he replied: "It's just in case this is the last year I believe in him."

At my grandson's nativity play, the third wise man was hilarious when he marched up to the manger and bellowed: "Frank sent this!"

My daughter was playing Mary and forgot her lines so she adlibbed, telling Joseph: 'I'm having a baby - oh, and it's not yours...'

I was at my friend's house when her six-year-old son poked his head round the door and said: "Mum, you know I wanted a bike for Christmas? Well I don't need it now. I just found one behind your wardrobe!"

My four-year-old granddaughter was telling me all about the gifts given to baby Jesus by the Wise Men. I asked what the shepherds took. She thought for a bit then asked: "Was it pies?"

When I went to stay with my daughter for Christmas, I heard my grandson praying at the top of his voice for a new bike. His big sister told him: "God's not deaf, you know!" He replied: "No, but Nan is."

My daughter Katie was chattering away for ages to Santa but he didn't seem to be understanding what it was that she wanted for Christmas. Jumping off his knee, she chirped: "I know. I'll come back tomorrow with the Argos catalogue!"

At my grandson's school Nativity play, when the innkeeper opened the curtain to show Mary and Joseph in the stable, a little voice in the audience shouted: "Where's the TV, Mum?"

And finally